because everyone is boring..and because you’re different

Posts tagged “alone

Quote

Maybe I was designed to be alone. 

I realized that even though I like being alone, I don’t fancy being lonely. 


completely alone

2cb8879f5105def049a577aad9267674c4d9cab7_mjuggling depression and loneliness playing solitaire spin the bottle

Now Playing: Mylo – Destroy Rock & Roll – Sunworshipper


i’m a broken toy.

ketika berkumpul dengan teman-teman lama kemarin, membuat saya sedikit tersadar kenapa saya masih saja sendiri (selain faktor ditolak tentunya… ehem, tapi kita tidak bahas itu sekarang. tsk). selain karena saya masih belum bisa mengerti dengan konsep komitmen, juga karena di dalam hati saya merasa rendah diri. tidak, bukan faktor fisik, tapi lebih ke psikis. saya merasa sebagian diri saya sudah terkikis dan terkorup oleh hal-hal buruk. i’m a sick person. dan bagaimana mungkin orang lain bisa bersama saya, jika saya sendiri saja tidak sanggup menghadapi diri saya sendiri.

it’s like a broken toy. siapa yang mau bermain dengan mainan yang rusak. terbuang dan terlupakan.

Now Playing: Sophie Ellis-Bextor – Read My Lips – Murder On The Dancefloor


it’s so hard to think back to how things used to be & look at it now and realize that things are different & they may never be the same.

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love makes you so vulnerable. it opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.
you build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…
you give them a piece of you. they didn’t ask for it. they did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore.
love takes hostages. it gets inside you. it eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ or ‘how perceptive’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.
it hurts. not just in the imagination. not just in the mind. it’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

siapa sangka, quote dari graphic novel favorit saya yang berjudul “the sandman” ini mengena lagi buat saya. semua tembok pertahanan yang saya buat, runtuh begitu saja hanya karena saya membukakan pintu untuk satu orang saja. dan kalimat sederhana seperti itu yang sekarang menghujam tepat ke hati saya dan masih belum akan hilang setidaknya untuk waktu dekat ini.

it’s the worst feeling in the world to love & hate someone all at the same time.
it’s crazy when you want to let go, but you keep holding on, & when you want to move on but you’re stuck right where you started.
when you want them in your life so bad, but all you can do is push them farther & farther away.
it’s so hard to think back to how things used to be & look at it now and realize that things are different & they may never be the same.
no matter how much you love someone, they just can’t love you back in the same way.
loving someone who can’t love you back is way lonelier than being alone.

Now Playing: The xx – Coexist – Swept Away


you don’t want to smile and you don’t want to fake being happy. but at the same time you don’t know exactly what’s wrong either…

do you ever get that feeling where you don’t want to talk to anybody? you don’t want to smile and you don’t want to fake being happy. but at the same time you don’t know exactly what’s wrong either. there isn’t a way to explain it to someone who doesn’t already understand. if you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. people have stopped being comforting and being along never was. at least when you’re alone no one will constantly ask you what is wrong and there isn’t anyone who won’t take ‘i don’t know’ for an answer. you feel the way you do just because. you hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.

– unknown

Now Playing: Hightime Rebellion – Writer On The Window


30! oh no! oh yeahh!

who's counting candles?

resmi sudah hari ini saya memasuki usia kepala tiga. saya masih tidak menyangka saya akan sampai disini juga pada akhirnya. ahh, being thirty. momen dimana saya pernah berpikir ketika saya sudah mencapai umur segini saya sudah mendapatkan semua yang saya inginkan, sudah melihat dunia, dan memulai hidup mapan. but naaay, semuanya itu jauh dari harapan. ternyata saya masih menjadi orang yang sama. saya belum mendapatkan semua yang saya inginkan dan cita-citakan. saya belum melihat dunia. dan saya masih jauh dari kata mapan (malah mulai tidak paham dengan arti kata ini). *sigh*

apapun itu, ini adalah salah satu ulang tahun saya yang paling tidak berkesan dalam hidup. selain karena sakit, juga karena saya harus melalui hari ini dalam kesendirian. bummer!

gambar diambil dari sini.

Now Playing: Seatbelts – Piano Black


i’m tired of being alone, but i can’t cope with others too…

Now Playing: Jamiroquai – Blow Your Mind