because everyone is boring..and because you’re different

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Maybe I was designed to be alone. 

I realized that even though I like being alone, I don’t fancy being lonely. 

Please stay, just for once

Now Playing: I.O.I – Hold Up

Crash and burn

Falling in love with you was never really part of my plan

It was never really part of my plan, but like some idiot I fell in love with you. Don’t know how, don’t know why, I just did. 

You said you’ll stay by my side, but now you’re leaving. Forever. 

I told you, you’d give up on me. And now you’re gone. 

Fuck you for giving up on me. 

Now Playing: Blackpink – Whistle

It’s a lonely road

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I’m the victim of my own mind…

Now Playing: Björk – Post – It’s Oh So Quiet

Depression and despair

I’m a coward. Weakling. I do no longer have place in here.

Just can’t stand it anymore…

I feel like I’m drowning with no one holding me down

I can’t explain it I can’t find the words right now
But, I feel like I’m drowning with no one holding me down
The fear clenches on my face
And I know in this life I’ve never lived

I feel tired all the time…

Now Playing: Slow Club – Wanderer Wandering

Depression can not be cured. You just have to learn to live with it.

illustration-depression-monster

“Depresi Bisa Disembuhkan.” Begitu bunyi poster tentang depresi di depan ruangan psikiatri RSPP kemaren. Poster yang sudah bertahun-tahun tidak pernah saya lihat lagi. Dan setelah sekian tahun saya masih tidak percaya dengan poster tersebut.

Depression can not be cured. You just have to learn to live with it. Deal with it. Tidak peduli seberapapun kerasnya saya mencoba, depresi akan kembali menyerang saya. Pendapat yang diakui sendiri oleh dr. Endah-pskiatri saya. It will comes to haunt you in the middle of the night, or even on a perfect sunny day. No one knows when, where, or why.

Dan permasalahnnya, setelah sekian tahun saya masih terus berperang dengan diri saya sendiri dan belum bisa berdamai. Ternyata proses pembelajarannya sangat panjang dan saya masih sering saja menemui kegagalan demi kegagalan.

*sigh*

picture form sebastien millon.

Now Playing: Bogan Via- Wait Up – Kanye